Wine is something more than just what you drink in the evening. It can comfort you after a stressful day, it can share joy and laughter with friends and family, and most importantly, put a smile on your face.
I love drinking wine at home, out with friends or while exploring new wineries on my travels. And I love to share them with my followers on Instagram. This is why I’ve compiled this extensive list of insightful and funny wine quotes for Instagram.
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85 Wine Quotes Perfect for Instagram
Funny Wine Quotes
1. “One should always be drunk. That’s all that matters…But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk.” ― Charles Baudelaire
2. “I get really clumsy around wine, I seem to always spill the whole bottle down my throat.” – Unknown
3. “Doctor says to a man, ‘You’re pregnant!’ The man says, ‘How does a man get pregnant?’ The doctor says, ‘The usual way, a little wine, a little dinner….’” – Henny Youngman
4. “I like to think I’m a night person, because that’s my job, but now I’m a father of three. I’m trying to become more of a morning person. I don’t know if it will last. I have two choices, right? Either I’m bitter about getting up early, or I start drinking wine earlier and get to bed.” – Dave Matthews
5. “Anyone who tries to make you believe that he knows all about wines is obviously a fake.” ― Leon Adams, The Commonsense Book of Wine
6.”Compromises are for relationships, not wine.” – Sir Robert Scott Caywood
7. “We all need something to help us unwind at the end of the day. You might have a glass of wine, or a joint, or a big delicious blob of heroin to silence your silly brainbox of its witterings but there has to be some form of punctuation, or life just seems utterly relentless.” ― Russell Brand, My Booky Wook
8. “A glass of wine keeps the doctor away; a bottle of wine would keep everyone away. I think I’ll have a bottle.” – Unknown
9. “I’m sure wine snobs look at me and think, how dare you.” – Drew Barrymore
10. “Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink, I feel shame! Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this wine, they might be out of work, and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, ‘It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.” – Jack Handey
11. “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.” ― Joan Collins
12. “Never, never trust anyone who asks for white wine. It means they’re phonies.” – Bette Davis
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Wine & Food Quotes
13. “Drinking wine is just a part of life, like eating food.” – Francis Ford Coppola
14. “Drinking good wine with good food in good company is one of life’s most civilized pleasures.” – Michael Broadbent
15. “A gourmet meal without a glass of wine just seems tragic to me somehow.” ― Kathy Mattea
16. “I haven’t had much luck in pairing red wine with lobster.” – Jasper White
17. “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” ― W.C. Fields
18. “I’m a big fan of a great glass of red wine and a delicious bowl of pasta made from scratch”. – Zoe McLellan
19. “White wine is like electricity. Red wine looks and tastes like a liquified beefsteak.” – James Joyce
20. “What wine goes with Captain Crunch?”― George Carlin
21. “I never taste the wine first in restaurants, I just ask the waiter to pour.” – Nigella Lawson
22. “A meal without wine is like a day without sun” – Anthelme Brillat-Savarin
READ ALSO: Trying Corsican Wine at Domaine de Terra Vecchia
Wine Quotes About People
23. “I can certainly see that you know your wine. Most of the guests who stay here wouldn’t know the difference between Bordeaux and Claret.” ― Basil Fawlty, “Fawlty Towers”
24. “I like on the table, when we’re speaking, the light of a bottle of intelligent wine.” — Pablo Neruda
25. “A bottle of wine begs to be shared; I have never met a miserly wine lover.” – Clifton Fadiman
26. “Wine represents to me sharing and good times and a celebration of life. It is always around happy occasions with family and friends and centered around joy. What better item to be involved in then something that represents all these wonderful things.” – Dan Aykroyd
27. “She loved three things — a joke, a glass of wine, and a handsome man.” — W. Somerset Maugham
28. “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.” – Frank Sinatra
READ ALSO: Underrated Wine Destinations Around the World
Wine & Wisdom Quotes
29. “Wisdom doesn’t automatically come with old age. Nothing does – except wrinkles. It’s true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.” – Abigail Van Buren
30. “Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.” ― Paulo Coelho
31. “Jazz is like wine. When it is new, it is only for the experts, but when it gets older, everybody wants it.” – Steve Lacy
32. “Wine is the most civilized thing in the world and one of the most natural things of the world that has been brought to the greatest perfection, and it offers a greater range for enjoyment and appreciation than, possibly, any other purely sensory thing.” – Ernest Hemingway
33. “In wine, there’s truth.” — Pliny the Elder
34. “I would like a wine. The purpose of the wine is to get me drunk. A bad wine will get me as drunk as a good wine. I would like the good wine. And since the result is the same no matter which wine I drink, I’d like to pay the bad wine price.” – Steve Martin
35. “For when the wine is in, the wit is out.” – Thomas Becon
36. “Maybe it’s because I’m getting older, I’m finding enjoyment in things that stop time. Just the simple act of tasting a glass of wine is its own event. You’re not downing a glass of wine in the midst of doing something else.” – David Hyde Pierce
37. “Of all things known to mortals, wine is the most powerful and effectual for exciting and inflaming the passions of mankind, being common fuel to them all.” – Francis Bacon
38. “Wine can be a better teacher than ink, and banter is often better than books.” – Stephen Fry
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Wine & Happiness Quotes
39. “The discovery of a wine is of greater moment than the discovery of a constellation. The universe is too full of stars.” ― Benjamin Franklin
40. “Wine is the sort of alcoholic beverage that does not destroy but enriches life; does not distort but clairfies perspective; does not seduce except in a way worth humanly being seduced.” – Bill St. John
41. “I like to be home on a Friday night. I don’t go out. I don’t go to clubs. It’s not my thing. I sit at home with my glass of wine and watch hours of reality TV.” – Kaley Cuoco
42. “Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried, with fewer tensions and more tolerance.” ― Benjamin Franklin
43. “Wine rejoices the heart of man and joy is the mother of all virtues.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
44. “Nothing makes the future look so rosy as to contemplate it through a glass of Chambertin.” ― Napoleon Bonaparte
45. “I drink sherry and wine by myself because I like it and I get the sensuous feeling of indulgence…luxury, bliss, erotic-tinged.” – Sylvia Plath
46. “Sorrow can be alleviated by good sleep, a bath, and a glass of wine.” — Thomas Aquinas
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Short Wine Quotes
47. “Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy.” ― Alexander Fleming
48. “I’m like the wine. The older I get, the better I get.” – Zlatan Ibrahimovic
49. “Life is too short to drink bad wine.” ― Unknown
50. “Language is wine upon the lips.” — Virginia Woolf
51. “I rather like bad wine; one gets so bored with good wine.” – Benjamin Disraeli
52. “Wine is bottled poetry.” — Robert Louis Stevenson
53. “Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” ― Pope John XXIII
54. “There must be always wine and fellowship or we are truly lost.” – Ann Fairbairn
55. “Wine is sunlight, held together by water.” – Galileo
56. “My only regret in life is that I did not drink more wine.” – Ernest Hemingway
57. “Nothing more excellent or valuable than wine was ever granted by the gods to man.” – Plato
58. “I shall drink no wine before it’s time! OK, it’s time.” – Groucho Marx
59. “I only drink wine on days that end with a ‘y.’ ” – Unknown
60. “I drink and I know things.” – Tyrion Lannister, Game of Thrones
61. “Either give me more wine or leave me alone.”― Rumi
62. “Wine, it’s in my veins and I can’t get it out.” – Burgess Meredith
63. “A man will be eloquent if you give him good wine.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
64. “Wine is the answer, but I can’t remember the question.” – Unknown
65. “Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.” — Louis Pasteur
66. “Drink wine, not labels.” – Dr. Maynard Amerine
67. “Give me wine to wash me clean of the weather-stains of cares.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
68. “Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it.” ― Unknown
69. “Beer is made by men, wine by God.” ― Martin Luther
70. “I’m not a wine connoisseur, but I do like a glass or two at night.” – Diane Keaton
71. “God made water, but man made wine.” – Victor Hugo
Champagne Quotes
72. “Champagne is the one thing that gives me zest when I am tired.” – Brigitte Bardot
73. “Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully. – Graham Greene
74. “In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.” ― Napoleon Bonaparte
75. “My only regret in life is that I didn’t drink enough Champagne.” ― Robert Noecker
76. “Whenever I drink champagne I either laugh or cry…I get so emotional! I love champagne.” – Tina Turner
77. “Champagne is appropriate for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.” ― Madeline Puckette
More Funny Wine Quotes
78. “Someone said drink the water, but I will drink the wine. Someone said take a poor man, the rich don’t have a dime. Go fool yourself, if you will, I just haven’t got the time. I’ll give you back your water, and I will take the wine.” – Frank Sinatra
79. “Wine is a living liquid containing no preservatives. Its life cycle comprises youth, maturity, old age and death. When not treated with reasonable respect it will wicken and die.” – Julia Child
80. “I love everything that’s old — old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wine.” — Oliver Goldsmith
81. “I like all paintings. I always look at the paintings, good or bad, in barbershops, furniture stores, provincial hotels. I’m like a drinker who needs wine. As long as it is wine, it doesn’t matter which wine.” – Pablo Picasso
82. “Wine has been a part of civilized life for some seven thousand years. It is the only beverage that feeds the body, soul and spirit of man and at the same time stimulates the mind…” – Robert Mondavi
83. “Wine makes a man more pleased with himself, I do not say that it makes him more pleasing to others.” – Samuel Johnson
84. “Most of the confidence which I appear to feel, especially when influenced by noon wine, is only a pretense.” – Tennessee Williams
85. “Now wines are wonders; great wines are magical; and winemakers are mad. Like horse fanciers, they are always trying to improve the breed.” – William E. Massee
There you have it, 85 funny wine quotes that are perfect for Instagram. Which will you be using for your next Instagram post?
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My mum loves wine so she would definitely appreciate these quotes! I’m going to send it to her to read.
I hope she likes them!
I love IG and I love wine! But seriously, been shifting more to champagne and lighter wines recently – reds I just find too heavy.
As the weather gets nicer I definitely shift to the bubbles and rose wines
This is such a fun post! I’m going to Temecula to visit wineries with my mom this summer, so I’ll have to use this post for reference! Thanks for sharing! 😉
Thanks 🙂 Have a great time visiting wineries around Temecula. I’ve heard great things about the Chardonnay there
Will definitely be referencing this post when I visit some wineries this summer! So fun- thanks for sharing 🙂
Thanks 🙂 I can’t wait to start exploring wineries again!